(this one is the first 'super-short' story i remember writing as an adult. And it's special for that reason-a little bit like first love you could say)
SOMEWHAT MAGICAL
He hated holding hands. Totally silly, he had always believed. He had never understood the funny connection it had with security, no matter how hard he tried.
As a kid, it had been his little sister, tagging along all the time (even when he had wanted to hang out with the other boys and throw stones at each other), holding on tightly to his hand as though her life would be in peril if she didn’t. His mom didn’t help the cause either, with those constant reminders of “ hold your sister’s hand and DON’T let go till you’re safely home.” Girlfriends hadn’t been any better. He remembered sitting in the car, one moonlit night in August. A normal 17 year old with normal needs- he was waiting for that ‘ first kiss’ -something to swagger about to his other not-so-lucky friends. But all he’d got (in the beginning) was a gentle sigh and a tight squeeze of the hand. It was supposed to be romantic, his sister’s verdict; but he refused to go with that.
That was 10 years ago. Now- he’d almost forgotten the feeling. He had gotten married to the only girl he fell hopelessly in love with. She was sensible enough to understand, and importantly, not complain about his ‘strange quirk’ as she called it. They’d gotten through three years of marriage with other displays of affection- and he was happy enough to live with those.
Today was going to be one of ‘those days’- a high point in his life, something special-that’s how it was supposed to be. He was happy, of course he was. But he didn’t exactly feel like doing a tap dance on the roads. As he wound his way through the milling crowd to ward no.10, he couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction was going to be.
It was pristine white everywhere-and somewhere in all that white, a pink bundle was kicking desperately, and screaming its lungs out. He reached the destined spot, and clumsily thrust out a hand- to feel, to touch….his creation. Something soft reached out, ever so slowly, towards his fingers. He followed the movement, suddenly fascinated by all that magic he was beginning to feel around him.
The pressure was….endearing, the only word he could think of, amidst all those tangled thoughts. And as he stood, looking over his baby, holding onto his index finger, as if for dear life-he fell in love for the second time in his life. And like before-it was forever.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Friday, November 05, 2010
The Month for Cheating On My Blog
I am as big a fan of the library as anyone with a reading problem could possibly be. And by the way, by my reading problem, i mean an unrelenting desire to read as many books as i possibly can in this lifetime (a very positive problem i think! i even used to keep a list one time of what i read one year and underrated myself to silver star when compared to the list the year before)
When you have a wonderful problem like this, and you dont necessarily know where your permanent home is going to be (the problems of a globally nomadic generation seeking opportunities and adventure sometimes really far away from home shores)-buying books can be a tad impractical. Buying an iPad or a Kindle may solve the problem, one may say-but that bug has just not caught on with me(yet). I want my honest-to-goodness, smell-the-paper-and-watch-it-yellow experience of being curled up in bed with a real book. I like to put in bookmarks (sometimes improvised to include my phone, a hairband, a credit card bill), i love the feel of a well-bound hardcover-the sense of touch really makes the stories seem more real somehow.
So anyway, the whole point of the above is that i would not know what i'd do if the city i live in didnt have such a fabulous library system(thank you King County tax payers for supporting the libraries with your tax dollars!)
Last month, while placing holds for books online, i came across a small promotion box on the library site. It simply said " November is National Novel Writing Month" and redirected to www.nanowrimo.org.
A little voice is my head suddenly found itself after ages. A tiny little dream shook itself from its long snooze and opened its eyes wide. I remembered all over again my oft-dreamt dream of writing a book. A dream i never took seriously because i could never find enough inspiration (and the time)to sustain an entire book project.
But this campaign was so simple (and therefore not intimidating!) All it says is: write 1667 words every day for 30 days this month, immerse youself in 30 days and nights of literary abandon! How poetic! Of course what you'll write will seem cheesy at first, they say-but just get it out there, write out the words, dont worry about the quality, and something beautiful will emerge. If nothing, you'd have accomplished a body of work you call your own. And all it takes is baby steps every day. There are even NaNo stats that track for you your word rate, your current pace, whether you're ahead or behind schedule, the works. (my favorite resources are the pep talks from other published authors who'd started out with NaNoWriMo) If you write a validated novel of 50 thousand words at the end of the month, you get to be a winner. Last year, 165000 people participated, of which 30000 were winners 'entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever' -as per the website.
So i decided-i'll do this thing, i'll take the plunge. If only for my own reading pleasure (or displeasure) at the end of the month, but i would attempt to create a novel. A partner marketing manager by day, a writer by night. How wickedly good is this-the deliciousness of a dual life!! Silly jokes aside, this will be my little escape from the mundane. I have a meandering tale in mind, and it's cooking up on its own for now, directionless it seems but hopeful of finding an essence, a meaning. My plot is lame, my flow feels wrong, and yet- i feel right! I feel good and energized just to be taking this journey. Who knows, it may give me courage someday to write something i'd be proud of.
So this month, dear blog: i will be cheating on you. I'll be working away on my words per day and my imagination is running low. So this month, my posts will be some of my old work (which incidentally you cannot repurpose for the novel)- some short stories i wrote eons ago, almost from a different life it seems.(or at the least from a different decade)
I'll be back next month, a winner or not-but definitely the richer for it. Here's to words, all fifty thousand of them!
When you have a wonderful problem like this, and you dont necessarily know where your permanent home is going to be (the problems of a globally nomadic generation seeking opportunities and adventure sometimes really far away from home shores)-buying books can be a tad impractical. Buying an iPad or a Kindle may solve the problem, one may say-but that bug has just not caught on with me(yet). I want my honest-to-goodness, smell-the-paper-and-watch-it-yellow experience of being curled up in bed with a real book. I like to put in bookmarks (sometimes improvised to include my phone, a hairband, a credit card bill), i love the feel of a well-bound hardcover-the sense of touch really makes the stories seem more real somehow.
So anyway, the whole point of the above is that i would not know what i'd do if the city i live in didnt have such a fabulous library system(thank you King County tax payers for supporting the libraries with your tax dollars!)
Last month, while placing holds for books online, i came across a small promotion box on the library site. It simply said " November is National Novel Writing Month" and redirected to www.nanowrimo.org.
A little voice is my head suddenly found itself after ages. A tiny little dream shook itself from its long snooze and opened its eyes wide. I remembered all over again my oft-dreamt dream of writing a book. A dream i never took seriously because i could never find enough inspiration (and the time)to sustain an entire book project.
But this campaign was so simple (and therefore not intimidating!) All it says is: write 1667 words every day for 30 days this month, immerse youself in 30 days and nights of literary abandon! How poetic! Of course what you'll write will seem cheesy at first, they say-but just get it out there, write out the words, dont worry about the quality, and something beautiful will emerge. If nothing, you'd have accomplished a body of work you call your own. And all it takes is baby steps every day. There are even NaNo stats that track for you your word rate, your current pace, whether you're ahead or behind schedule, the works. (my favorite resources are the pep talks from other published authors who'd started out with NaNoWriMo) If you write a validated novel of 50 thousand words at the end of the month, you get to be a winner. Last year, 165000 people participated, of which 30000 were winners 'entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever' -as per the website.
So i decided-i'll do this thing, i'll take the plunge. If only for my own reading pleasure (or displeasure) at the end of the month, but i would attempt to create a novel. A partner marketing manager by day, a writer by night. How wickedly good is this-the deliciousness of a dual life!! Silly jokes aside, this will be my little escape from the mundane. I have a meandering tale in mind, and it's cooking up on its own for now, directionless it seems but hopeful of finding an essence, a meaning. My plot is lame, my flow feels wrong, and yet- i feel right! I feel good and energized just to be taking this journey. Who knows, it may give me courage someday to write something i'd be proud of.
So this month, dear blog: i will be cheating on you. I'll be working away on my words per day and my imagination is running low. So this month, my posts will be some of my old work (which incidentally you cannot repurpose for the novel)- some short stories i wrote eons ago, almost from a different life it seems.(or at the least from a different decade)
I'll be back next month, a winner or not-but definitely the richer for it. Here's to words, all fifty thousand of them!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Orange Hues and Pumpkin Pie: Quintessentially Fall
I wake up in the mornings to mostly gloomy skies these days but for one little bright spot..
Yes, it's fall and we'll see less and less of the sun now, but that one burst of red-orange-gold, however temporary, cheers my heart. It's what i have been opening my eyes to each morning this past fortnight: the tree right outside my bedroom window is aflame with the colors of fall.
Fall wreaths are starting to appear on doors, Starbucks has brought back it's Pumpkin Spice Latte, walking between buildings across the company campus during the day is like taking shelter under a canopy of orange and deep pinks, and with gorgeous gold underfoot.
Watching the season turn..It's a little bit like magic. Here today, gone tomorrow-and yet these breathtaking colors lift me up. They remind me that there is something to be joyful for, grateful for each day-if we look hard enough, if we care to notice. Yes, there is the cold, long winter ahead-but there will also be fireplaces aglow, warm, snuggly sweaters to pull on, the cheer of the holidays to indulge in and share..
My first brush with Thanksgiving in this country (rather, my first Thanksgiving ever) was 4 years ago, we were visting family down in San Francisco a week before. I remember the one highlight of our trip: a huge Pumpkin Pie from Whole Foods as dessert on our last night in town, no holds barred (translated as: topped with lots and lots of whipped cream).
Since then, i've kept up that bit of the tradition each year. The turkey-stuffing and mashed potato routine hasn't really caught up with us, but pumpkin pie is here to stay in my heart. Now and for later.
Maybe this year, i'll swap the store-bought with a home-made version!
Yes, it's fall and we'll see less and less of the sun now, but that one burst of red-orange-gold, however temporary, cheers my heart. It's what i have been opening my eyes to each morning this past fortnight: the tree right outside my bedroom window is aflame with the colors of fall.
Fall wreaths are starting to appear on doors, Starbucks has brought back it's Pumpkin Spice Latte, walking between buildings across the company campus during the day is like taking shelter under a canopy of orange and deep pinks, and with gorgeous gold underfoot.
Watching the season turn..It's a little bit like magic. Here today, gone tomorrow-and yet these breathtaking colors lift me up. They remind me that there is something to be joyful for, grateful for each day-if we look hard enough, if we care to notice. Yes, there is the cold, long winter ahead-but there will also be fireplaces aglow, warm, snuggly sweaters to pull on, the cheer of the holidays to indulge in and share..
My first brush with Thanksgiving in this country (rather, my first Thanksgiving ever) was 4 years ago, we were visting family down in San Francisco a week before. I remember the one highlight of our trip: a huge Pumpkin Pie from Whole Foods as dessert on our last night in town, no holds barred (translated as: topped with lots and lots of whipped cream).
Since then, i've kept up that bit of the tradition each year. The turkey-stuffing and mashed potato routine hasn't really caught up with us, but pumpkin pie is here to stay in my heart. Now and for later.
Maybe this year, i'll swap the store-bought with a home-made version!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Exhaling and the Happy Headache
Dear Life: Thank you for the frenzied phases you sometimes love to shower upon us! While you are busy adding layer after layer of priorities and activities and things to check off, we are running around in our crazy human way- juggling, catching this and dropping that, fixing something here and then jumping off there. In all this happy (and something not) energy wave, there are times when we (figuratively speaking) forget to breathe! it's as though we are holding our breath constantly-waiting for that final climax scene in a movie.
So Dear Life-when we are finally done with all those layers, we allow ourselves, for one sweet moment, to EXHALE. at least till the next time the breathless, running-as-fast-as-i-can feeling comes back again.
A friend recently apologized for not keeping her promise to call me three weekends ago because she's 'losing her mind' with relatives and kids swarming in her house the last few weeks. I hope she gets to exhale soon!
Another friend recently moved to a new city, took a new job and is trying to ramp up on both at break neck speed. and yet another friend did all of that, plus bought a new house, a new puppy and her spouse is currently living in another country.
As for me: Ihave been on the verge of a big change and actively working towards it for a while now in parallel to everything else that i have on my plate, so now that all the actions that i needed to take are done, i can sit back and exhale, treat myself to quiet time till it all starts up again.
I cannot explain how good it feels to exhale. However transient this moment, it's magical: this sudden rush of relief, mixed with some satisfaction of having got through 'something'. however small or big it may be. I spent my evening having what i call a 'happy headache': all that energy suddenly whittling down to a moment of quiet is so drastic that it may leave you with a veritable headache, but its a happy one!
I have been reading this wonderful book called The Happiness Project, and the author talks about being happy in the context of " thinking about what feels good, what feels bad, what feels right, in an atmosphere of growth". How true! What would we be without the excitement in life that allows us to grow.
Dear Life- i know the next drama (a.k.a growth opportunity) isnt far away but till then-i am busy exhaling. And just being!
So Dear Life-when we are finally done with all those layers, we allow ourselves, for one sweet moment, to EXHALE. at least till the next time the breathless, running-as-fast-as-i-can feeling comes back again.
A friend recently apologized for not keeping her promise to call me three weekends ago because she's 'losing her mind' with relatives and kids swarming in her house the last few weeks. I hope she gets to exhale soon!
Another friend recently moved to a new city, took a new job and is trying to ramp up on both at break neck speed. and yet another friend did all of that, plus bought a new house, a new puppy and her spouse is currently living in another country.
As for me: Ihave been on the verge of a big change and actively working towards it for a while now in parallel to everything else that i have on my plate, so now that all the actions that i needed to take are done, i can sit back and exhale, treat myself to quiet time till it all starts up again.
I cannot explain how good it feels to exhale. However transient this moment, it's magical: this sudden rush of relief, mixed with some satisfaction of having got through 'something'. however small or big it may be. I spent my evening having what i call a 'happy headache': all that energy suddenly whittling down to a moment of quiet is so drastic that it may leave you with a veritable headache, but its a happy one!
I have been reading this wonderful book called The Happiness Project, and the author talks about being happy in the context of " thinking about what feels good, what feels bad, what feels right, in an atmosphere of growth". How true! What would we be without the excitement in life that allows us to grow.
Dear Life- i know the next drama (a.k.a growth opportunity) isnt far away but till then-i am busy exhaling. And just being!
Thursday, October 07, 2010
The silly things...
A phrase i hadnt read, said or used in a long long time suddenly popped in my head today. Scatter-brained. (why do people not use this phrase anymore!)The context: two funny stories i heard from friends in the last couple of days about their absent-minded moments.
One of them was in such a rush to get ready for an evening out on the town one Friday night that while taking a shower, she forgot all about the conditioner she had put in her hair. Scrambling to get dressed and blow-dry her hair, she couldnt understand why it was taking all that time for the hair at the back of her head to dry, and then it dawned on her.
Another friend mentioned to me today the concept of 'pregnancy brain' or momnesia-apparently bouts of forgetfulness are really common when you are pregnant. She mentioned desperately searching for her cellphone in her purse while she was talking on that same phone. Another time, she found herself using the car keys to open the door to the house.
These stories made me think about all my scatter-brained moments in life-times when i have done or said silly things just because for a moment my brain was well-scattered. There was a time i tried to walk up an escalator that was coming down, i was in this tearing hurry to get to a store in the mall and couldnt figure out why i couldnt just get on. I cannot count the number of times i have shampooed my hair twice because i couldnt remember if i already did that once. I dont need to have the excuse of momnesia to justify how often i have looked for something all over while it's been sitting under my nose the whole time. And let's not even get me started on the times i cant remember if i already salted a dish while cooking.
It's so important to be able to laugh at yourself some days! just revel in that moment of silliness because you said or did something funny and completely bizarre, and use that to give yourself a mental break -if only for a brief second ,all the tasks ahead in that day can wait till your brain re-groups.
I am glad we human beings are scatter-brained creatures every now and then. Who can ever complain about the nuances of life that make you laugh, right?
One of them was in such a rush to get ready for an evening out on the town one Friday night that while taking a shower, she forgot all about the conditioner she had put in her hair. Scrambling to get dressed and blow-dry her hair, she couldnt understand why it was taking all that time for the hair at the back of her head to dry, and then it dawned on her.
Another friend mentioned to me today the concept of 'pregnancy brain' or momnesia-apparently bouts of forgetfulness are really common when you are pregnant. She mentioned desperately searching for her cellphone in her purse while she was talking on that same phone. Another time, she found herself using the car keys to open the door to the house.
These stories made me think about all my scatter-brained moments in life-times when i have done or said silly things just because for a moment my brain was well-scattered. There was a time i tried to walk up an escalator that was coming down, i was in this tearing hurry to get to a store in the mall and couldnt figure out why i couldnt just get on. I cannot count the number of times i have shampooed my hair twice because i couldnt remember if i already did that once. I dont need to have the excuse of momnesia to justify how often i have looked for something all over while it's been sitting under my nose the whole time. And let's not even get me started on the times i cant remember if i already salted a dish while cooking.
It's so important to be able to laugh at yourself some days! just revel in that moment of silliness because you said or did something funny and completely bizarre, and use that to give yourself a mental break -if only for a brief second ,all the tasks ahead in that day can wait till your brain re-groups.
I am glad we human beings are scatter-brained creatures every now and then. Who can ever complain about the nuances of life that make you laugh, right?
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Whoosh!
It's been a while. i had a little bit of trouble finding my blog URL easily-i guess i hadn't visited it in a long time, so it wasnt showing in IE 9's new 'most visited sites' list. it's sad that i have been away from this lovely space i almost consider 'an escape from all other things real and mundane'-here was something that i loved doing, it wasnt a chore, and it didnt usually leave me annoyed or tired or indifferent(cant say the same about dishes or laundry or the relentless email in my life).
A year since i took a moment to breathe, gather my thoughts and sort them out into a string of words that i'd read again later and rediscover a part of me from the past. oh well, at least i am here again. And i promise to stop by often, if only to remind myself that there are things i love that deserve time and attention-and they go beyond the shopping sprees, the cooking whims and the travel bugs. Writing is one of them, de-cluttering my life is another-and i dont seem to do enough of both these days!
two things have been the highlight of my week and they deserve a mention in the context of this new resolve:
one: i turned a corner last week, coming off a phase of recklessness, exploration and eventually some attempts at self-discovery. what a fun ride! it can only get better from here, i hope:))
second: i realised this week that there are some human connections which are so simple, perhaps deep (time will tell) and perhaps not and yet they make for pleasant moments that you cannot help but feel good about.A little laughter and some soul-talk over a glass of wine between girls is one such experience that has got to be a universal mood-uplifter!
A year since i took a moment to breathe, gather my thoughts and sort them out into a string of words that i'd read again later and rediscover a part of me from the past. oh well, at least i am here again. And i promise to stop by often, if only to remind myself that there are things i love that deserve time and attention-and they go beyond the shopping sprees, the cooking whims and the travel bugs. Writing is one of them, de-cluttering my life is another-and i dont seem to do enough of both these days!
two things have been the highlight of my week and they deserve a mention in the context of this new resolve:
one: i turned a corner last week, coming off a phase of recklessness, exploration and eventually some attempts at self-discovery. what a fun ride! it can only get better from here, i hope:))
second: i realised this week that there are some human connections which are so simple, perhaps deep (time will tell) and perhaps not and yet they make for pleasant moments that you cannot help but feel good about.A little laughter and some soul-talk over a glass of wine between girls is one such experience that has got to be a universal mood-uplifter!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
How Well Do You Know...
So i am a facebook addict-most days, anyway. I am blown away by Web 2.0 and how it has changed the way we do business in many ways (have you noticed how many of your favorite brands, bakeries, sportsmen and celebrities are on Facebook and Twitter now? It's amazing!) With social networking sites becoming veritable universes for people to spend a good amount of their time (whether via a mobile or a PC) it is obvious that Facebook and other social networking sites create opportunities to entertain their growing fan base.
One particular avenue of entertainment is that whole slew of inane quizzes that you can take that 'help' answer questions such as " What Cocktail are you" (duh!), "What City Are you meant to live in?" (slightly useful) etc.
So on a particularly random evening when i was killing time on facebook, i stumbled upon a reverse-quiz: this quiz that YOU create for your friends to discover how well they really know you. So sure- i took a stab at it-put together a pretty lame quiz (with the help of suggested questions) that provide some insight into who i am (really?).
Turns out-people did really well on my quiz, even those who did not know me as well as say my best friends(i repeat the word ' lame' here). Some of them created their own quiz and subsequently, some of us (yes, including me) did not score too favorably on their friends' quizzes. I even know of a wife who scored a measly 30% on her husband's quiz. Ha!! Do i need to repeat a certain word again?
So i got thinking (and not merely to defend my bad scores)-can we really tell who is a good friend based on whether they know our favorite karaoke song, or what our nicknames were as kids? Does it matter if my best friend knows what my favorite colors are, or whether i prefer perfumes to shoes as gifts? (ok i agree- the last one might be a useful fact to know!)
Are these bits of trivia critical, especially in a day and age when our best buddies are globally dispersed across multiple cities, time zones and careers-and our conversations are more through these social networking technologies and email than through in-person tete-a-tetes?
So as our world and lives change, who should we still value as a good friend?
Someone who you can talk to, no matter how long its been since you last met, without having to wonder what to talk about? Or should it be someone who remembers what my favorite drink in college was? What about close friends that i made after i was out of college? Do they not qualify as good friends because they did not know which city i was born in or which is my favorite dessert even if we share values and opinions and have a whole bunch of memories to laugh over?
Facebook creates these quizzes as a way to have fun, spark new conversations, trigger new threads. And yes-these things are fun, including the fake banter and tantrums and declarations of 'Fraud' that they may spark off.
But fun apart-i realise that the friends i really care about are those that bother to stay aware of what's going on in my life, who can laugh with me about some silly gossip, who are there for me when i need to vent about something, with whom i can pick up from where i left off the last time we met, people i really look forward to seeing and talking with...isnt that what friendship is really about?
Dedicated to my girls-you know who you are! :)
One particular avenue of entertainment is that whole slew of inane quizzes that you can take that 'help' answer questions such as " What Cocktail are you" (duh!), "What City Are you meant to live in?" (slightly useful) etc.
So on a particularly random evening when i was killing time on facebook, i stumbled upon a reverse-quiz: this quiz that YOU create for your friends to discover how well they really know you. So sure- i took a stab at it-put together a pretty lame quiz (with the help of suggested questions) that provide some insight into who i am (really?).
Turns out-people did really well on my quiz, even those who did not know me as well as say my best friends(i repeat the word ' lame' here). Some of them created their own quiz and subsequently, some of us (yes, including me) did not score too favorably on their friends' quizzes. I even know of a wife who scored a measly 30% on her husband's quiz. Ha!! Do i need to repeat a certain word again?
So i got thinking (and not merely to defend my bad scores)-can we really tell who is a good friend based on whether they know our favorite karaoke song, or what our nicknames were as kids? Does it matter if my best friend knows what my favorite colors are, or whether i prefer perfumes to shoes as gifts? (ok i agree- the last one might be a useful fact to know!)
Are these bits of trivia critical, especially in a day and age when our best buddies are globally dispersed across multiple cities, time zones and careers-and our conversations are more through these social networking technologies and email than through in-person tete-a-tetes?
So as our world and lives change, who should we still value as a good friend?
Someone who you can talk to, no matter how long its been since you last met, without having to wonder what to talk about? Or should it be someone who remembers what my favorite drink in college was? What about close friends that i made after i was out of college? Do they not qualify as good friends because they did not know which city i was born in or which is my favorite dessert even if we share values and opinions and have a whole bunch of memories to laugh over?
Facebook creates these quizzes as a way to have fun, spark new conversations, trigger new threads. And yes-these things are fun, including the fake banter and tantrums and declarations of 'Fraud' that they may spark off.
But fun apart-i realise that the friends i really care about are those that bother to stay aware of what's going on in my life, who can laugh with me about some silly gossip, who are there for me when i need to vent about something, with whom i can pick up from where i left off the last time we met, people i really look forward to seeing and talking with...isnt that what friendship is really about?
Dedicated to my girls-you know who you are! :)
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